The Neuroscience of Desire: Unlock Your Brain | Kristin Graham
Jen Porter (00:00)
Hey, lioness, welcome to the show lioness conversations where we help women be brave to lead with confidence and joy and to find your path to the most meaningful work of your life. I'm your host, Jen Porter, leadership and empowerment coach for ambitious and heart centered women who are ready to change the world. You can find out more about the lioness community at jenportercoach.com. Today's guest is Kristin Graham, an expert in unlocking the brain.
She's the founder and chief nerd of Unlock, where she dives into the latest neuroscience and psychology to help us perform at our best. With 20 years of experience leading culture and communications at top global companies like Amazon, she knows what it takes to drive results. Today, she's an international speaker and strategist helping teams and leaders all over the world. Kristin, welcome to the show.
Kristin Graham (00:54)
My gosh, Jen, thank you so much for having me
Jen Porter (00:58)
I am so excited to have this conversation. And I want to just have you tell people what it means to unlock the brain. What is it that you're working on? What does that mean?
Kristin Graham (01:13)
That's such a good question. Thank you for starting there. For me, I use all my years of research. I'm a former journalist and I use science and research to give people permission to be messy, beautiful humans. That's what unlock the brain is. Instead of trying to fit into these sculpted society enabled boxes to just be like, who are you and where are you best?
And I also am on a mission to help people do fewer things better. I call it my slow productivity rant.
Jen Porter (01:46)
Yeah, I love that and I don't know as much about that piece. What does it mean to do fewer things better?
Kristin Graham (01:53)
It is, well, it is part of unlocking our brain because as hyper achievers and our brain, right, is always in survival mode, always scanning a horizon, trying to tell you everything that you forgot. And by the way, you should call the dentist, right? Always. It is really about that permission again, to say there is no such thing as multitasking. And in order to really go slow to go fast, you will get so much more done and feel fulfilled from your brain chemistry, et cetera.
when you really focus. And so Fewer Things Better releases us from having 25 browser screens open and calling while you're vacuuming and allows us to accomplish things instead of drive for achievement.
Jen Porter (02:24)
Yes.
That's huge.
Kristin Graham (02:37)
It's so huge. And I'm a daily practitioner. So this isn't coming from an expert. It's like case study. Here's today's captain's log.
Jen Porter (02:47)
I do find that ⁓ clarity, you know, what is it that we're actually wanting to prioritize and then focusing can be so powerful. And it's, I think there's a confidence that comes when we're focused, meaning if we're clear on what it is that we want to achieve or accomplish and we decide to focus on
Kristin Graham (02:58)
It's true.
Jen Porter (03:11)
certain those priorities at a certain time, then we can really settle into it. Because we know this is what we've chosen to focus on.
Kristin Graham (03:21)
I love how you said that. And there's two things that are going on at the same time. The first is the digital landscape that we're in. The human brain hasn't had technology long enough to evolve to the pace of it. So when you're feeling constantly overwhelmed, that's not a deficiency on your part, that is actually evolution. We're just not there yet. We're not able to keep up the way that AI can spit something out. And the second part with priorities, when you said chose,
When I really dig in with people, it's saying, did you choose that or was that chosen for you? I have a whole practice on distractions in disguise. And one of them is distractions by other people's problems.
Jen Porter (04:05)
Hello.
Kristin Graham (04:06)
Well, I'm just saying, and I say that as a mama, I say that as a woman in the world, it's, ⁓ might be focusing on a priority, but really getting back to, cause you just said what I've chosen, I often double click on a lot of people and say, what is it that you want to do? Well, here's my list and I got to do this and my, and I was like, but what do you want to do? And I really feel like we've gotten to this stopping point where we don't necessarily know what we want anymore.
Jen Porter (04:36)
That is so true. It's one of the things that in my work as a coach, I help people figure out what is their desire, what do they want. It's really a scary thing sometimes.
Kristin Graham (04:48)
well, okay, if we take it down a gender path for a moment, our social construct is to be of service to a community, hunter-gatherer, all of that, desire equals sign selfish.
Jen Porter (04:52)
⁓ huh.
which equals bad person, right? Bad girl.
Kristin Graham (05:06)
bad girl.
One of my favorite quotes I came across in the last couple of years, I think it was a book ⁓ from Elizabeth Gilbert. So was a quote from one of her characters that says, you do not have to be a good girl to be a good person.
Jen Porter (05:22)
Wow.
Kristin Graham (05:23)
And it breaks out of that. Do what you're told, make everybody, be popular. I mean, it's, and you and I and running our businesses, being a lioness, roar. Okay. It's going to be too loud for some people. Those aren't your people. And that includes sometimes the people closest to you.
Jen Porter (05:41)
Yeah.
Yes, there's an untethering that has to happen between other people's expectations and who we truly are, what we truly want, what we're created to do in this world.
Kristin Graham (05:58)
Ooh. Well, and what we desire to do, desire is not, it's not a forbidden thing. It's not something you get to do ⁓ between 11 and 11.30 PM when everybody else is taken care of. It's, I love that you're doing that work unearthing individual desire and finding your purpose. That is, that's legacy.
Jen Porter (06:11)
Right?
Because that's when our lives become deeply meaningful because we're contributing in the way that we're created to. That's natural and leverages our strengths and our passions.
Kristin Graham (06:32)
and our past experiences, you start to see what those experiences gave you, not just what they took from you.
Jen Porter (06:40)
So true, so true. And we'll get more into that. Tell us more about Unlock. What are you doing? How do you share? What's the delivery in which you're able to help the world with these things?
Kristin Graham (06:53)
⁓ Help a portion of the world. Let's not get too large at the moment. ⁓ So because I mentioned I was a journalist and when I worked in corporate, it was all about the data, right? would lead with, would, creativity and words would come easily yet in order to influence, bringing in data, research, ⁓ numbers, that was always kind of the tipping point into influence. ⁓ And so I've used that same model to say,
the, I think that you'll probably appreciate this as a coach, there's tools, there's techniques, but they almost seem too simple. Part of unlocking the brain is to get past the psychological concept that if it's not hard, it's not worth doing. And so I will bring in neuroscience, information psychology, habits, and communication to show the
the math, the data behind these simple concepts. Like we were just talking about saying no to something, finding your desire of why that matters. Even focus, when I am bringing that forward and saying, hey, here's your chronobiology. Here's how your factory settings physically that you're early bird, night owl, but more than that, here's how hydration affects your focus. Here's what the neurochemicals. Did you know that we have more
neurochemicals of serotonin, is our, happy hormone in your stomach. 90 to 95 % of our serotonin is created in our gut, which is why when we talk about gut instincts or trust your gut, that's where the happiness lives, hormones, but also exactly where we feel it.
Jen Porter (08:44)
That's so true.
Kristin Graham (08:45)
And so it's bringing, I call them brain snacks, legitimate fact-based science to help understand the uniqueness of you so that you can then do what's best for you. Instead of some blanket, everybody should be working at 8 a.m. That's actually not true for a large, large portion of the people. So it's using data to help people accept their own uniqueness.
Jen Porter (09:04)
Right.
So I'm kind of like cringing, like it actually makes me hurt to know that because the connection between the gut and the brain is just now being understood. And I just think of how many people are suffering.
Kristin Graham (09:27)
Yes.
Jen Porter (09:30)
And they're not realizing that there's some simple solutions that have to do with, let's just start with nutrition. Let's start with hydration, right? Because all of that that's happening within the gut is affecting how we see the world, how we show up, you know, our energetic makeup. And it hurts me to know that
Kristin Graham (09:38)
⁓ yes, let's, yes.
completely.
Jen Porter (10:00)
people are so deprived of some of the basic essentials that can actually make them ⁓ come alive.
Kristin Graham (10:10)
Yeah, because it goes back to that psychological, that's too simple. We've been hearing our whole life, drink water, eat well, move, get good sleep, but it sounds too simple. And yet we have this plethora, this plague of attributes and afflictions that are happening. And you what we do instead? We go and get pharmaceuticals or we drink a Red Bull or we do all these other artificial fixes because the
Jen Porter (10:19)
Sure.
Kristin Graham (10:37)
basic dynamics when you go back to biology, like I'll take an Adderall instead of ⁓ trying to focus more. Like how can I immediately get it? And a large portion of that comes from marketing. I mean, we're trained to overlook the obvious and think that the fix is tied to your wallet and it's not.
Jen Porter (10:51)
Yes.
Yeah.
It just really pains me. It really does. So how do you help people with this? Is this like a, do you do the one-on-one support? Is this speaking to large groups or all of it?
Kristin Graham (11:13)
I do a couple of things.
Thank you. I realized I didn't answer that question. Speaking of focus. ⁓ I do a lot because I had a background in corporate of keynotes, workshops, conferences. I'll even go in and like MC big events or all help people with their off sites. So like really spend an extended amount of time together. But I also have had a podcast for three years called fewer things better. And that is all about the date, always 10 minutes and less, because it's always about you don't need to have.
an extensive conversation in order to get the information that you need. And so I often think of it as smart, overwhelmed people just trying to get through their day. And by the way, so that they can finally enjoy the life that they're working so hard for. And that's it. I'm just gonna start this week actually a summer series called de-stress your summer because summer used to be fun and fun.
I had a woman last year, I do live cohorts as well. I have online classes, I have pop-up classes, but I have live cohorts where I take people, small groups, for like six weeks. And this woman last summer, and this has stayed with me and affected the way my content and my products, she said, I think I have a joy deficiency.
Jen Porter (12:29)
Huh.
Kristin Graham (12:30)
And we ended up as a group, there was about 12 of us, getting index cards. And then over the course of the week in between seeing each other, we would write down things that we found fun. We had to go back and actually think about what was fun. Not like one more Netflix episode. That's fun sometimes, I'm not bashing that. But we ended up as a group, like writing down on index cards. And then we would get, and we would share and be like, I forgot about that.
Jen Porter (12:42)
and
Right.
Yes.
Kristin Graham (12:55)
And then
I just, I was just catching up with somebody a couple of weeks ago and she said, I still have my index cards. And so sometimes it's the work we do to bring forward what we used to feel and think about before we got too busy to be anything less than perfect.
Jen Porter (13:14)
I love that I'm going to make a connection to desire because what I find is that when we're in a survival, when I'm in a survival mode, when I'm triggered, I don't have access to what is what I know is good for me. And so I have something written down. It's actually on my phone in the notes that tells me these are the things that are supportive for me when I'm struggling because I can't I don't have the capacity in the moment to
Kristin Graham (13:35)
Mmm.
Jen Porter (13:41)
to find it. And so I need to tell myself, and it's like these index cards where we're reminding ourselves, right, this does bring me joy. Ooh, I do love this, I really do. And so it's a tool to be able to help not only myself, but also let other people in my life know what I need in a moment. What do you find as the connection between joy and the brain? Like as you study.
Kristin Graham (13:46)
Yes.
Yeah, and I want to build off what you just said. You've given yourself an instruction manual, like in case of emergency, break glass. And what's so important about that back to the brain is when we find ourselves in times of stress, which is so much more common, our evolutionary bodies can't differentiate between, okay, there's a lion in the woods and hey, I have 42 red dot notifications. It still is fight or flight, right? That's our nervous system coming to work.
Jen Porter (14:12)
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (14:36)
And when there seems to be any type of threat, you get flooded with cortisol, which is the stress hormone. And that shows up for everybody a little bit differently, but your point about it's almost like a buzz. Like you can't remember the things that are always available to you. And that is because your brain just got flooded. And so it's short circuiting a little bit. So you having that manual is really, really important. And there are very basic
Jen Porter (14:52)
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (15:06)
biological things to help you get out of that so you can go back to joy. So when your brain is, so some people start shaking, your heart rate almost always starts getting up there. It almost sounds like white noise is going through your head or like you can hear your blood in your ears. That cortisol level, you become a little hyper ⁓ and your brain is flashing all over the place. So one very quick shortcut is the diaphragmatic breathing. Not just like taking deep breaths, but literally putting your hands
I'm trying to show you right on your rib cage. I know, right? ⁓ But what you're doing, and I'm gonna get back to your joy thing, is you're metabolizing some of that cortisol by breathing it. Because it's a chemical and the chemical is pulsing through your body. And so if there's breathing, it's starting to kind of help mitigate it. The same is true when we're having joy.
Jen Porter (15:36)
I'm doing it with you too.
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (16:03)
So when we're in those moments of just in our zone or just one of the things that you can do using that same example is when we have moments of joy, we tend to go Instagram on it. Let me get a picture, let me, and instead we don't stop to savor the joy. And the same thing can work when you take in that breath. What you're doing is expanding that hormone, you're metabolizing it again, and it's
creating a deeper imprint in your memory, but also in the extension of being present. And it really helps that stickiness factor of, my partner's birthday was this last week and then father's day. there was, we were all around, we were playing games and laughing and I stopped it. I was just breathing so I could look around and I was almost like taking it in instead of seeing it through the lens. So the breathing as just one example,
Jen Porter (16:43)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (17:01)
helps both when we are in stress and when we are in joy. And that's always available, no pill required.
Jen Porter (17:06)
Mmm.
I love that. It's, know, ⁓ we've talked, we've talked before about evidence that our brain is always looking for evidence. What I find is that when we savor those moments, even the painful ones, right? No matter what that moment is to really, because it's all life, you know, to experience the fullness of life is one of my values. And it's all, know, so that's the good and the bad. ⁓
Kristin Graham (17:18)
Yes.
Yeah.
love that.
Jen Porter (17:38)
But when we savor those moments, we are able to integrate it into who we are. And then we can remember, ⁓ we've been here before, particularly, I'll give you an example with sadness or grief. Grief used to overwhelm me. And now I see it differently when I'm in that heightened,
⁓ immense state of emotion, I realize it's like a wave in an ocean. That I know it, it's big, it's scary, it's real, it looks like it's going to take me out, but I know that that wave is going to come down and there's this flow and I know that I'll be okay on the other side of it. So it's remembering we've been here before.
Kristin Graham (18:12)
Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Jen Porter (18:34)
And I can draw on those experiences to know, to use one of your words, it's figure-outable. It's figure-outable.
Kristin Graham (18:42)
Yeah, yeah. And I really appreciate your comment on grief ⁓ because we're ignorant oftentimes when you come into grief and all grief looks different and feels different even in our own experiences. And in that though is ⁓ the beauty of the loss.
So it was just Father's Day as I mentioned, and I lost my dad a dozen years ago, and I could be in those moments of savoring my kids and lots of activities and still really be missing that branch of my family tree. And what I'll say to that is both things can be true. And that's often what we don't allow into our brain. We just think, I'm sad, I'm feeling this heavy wave. ⁓
I'm a big proponent of yes and yes, I am feeling that it's real, it's in my body. And gosh, it's a gorgeous day out. And gosh, I feel like I walked my dog and I've had happy and the same time I'm feeling sad. And even allowing that permission of dichotomy is the human side of us. Life is 50-50. And that element of like, this is hard right now. And there's also still some beauty.
It's ⁓ both things can be true.
Jen Porter (20:08)
Yeah, how did you discover that?
Kristin Graham (20:13)
⁓ by everything that you were just saying too, when you, you got to claw yourself out of it in order to be able to see something in the rear view mirror. It's, it's, I've never read a book or listened to an expert who just had theory and not real life experience. And I, and I'll, I'll, I'm just going to stay on the topic of grief. ⁓ I often say,
and grief and how you choose to grieve. I really think that there's a lot of invisible grief in the world right now. ⁓ Loss of jobs, the layoffs of the economic insecurity, national and world news. There's a lot of grief that we're tucking in, but within that, I've never really found wisdom that's related to me from somebody who just had ⁓ thought about it and didn't have an experience with it.
Jen Porter (21:09)
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (21:10)
And there
is profound comfort in sitting in a space with somebody who has an understanding. Nobody fully understands your grief. But I saw a friend last week, I hadn't seen him for years and he had lost his father and he has very young children. And I said, I just wanna acknowledge, it's a club to which I wish nobody belonged. But when you're here, you're not alone in it. And...
That is, and that's true of anything that you're going through, including the good times, ⁓ that feeling grief and negative emotions feel incredibly lonely. And one of the strangest things about COVID, and this is still being studied, but the world was going through COVID together. There was a bit of shared resilience. When we are having individual difficulties, it becomes myopic.
Jen Porter (21:51)
Yes.
Kristin Graham (22:07)
It feels like this small little cave party of one. And presence of a sense of understanding is so much more comfortable than any casserole dish.
Jen Porter (22:21)
It's like medicine, right?
Kristin Graham (22:23)
Well, it's just, unfortunately, it's normalizing. And what you just said about the ocean, it doesn't necessarily go away, but your world gets to get bigger. I love that one visual about the world gets bigger around the grief. ⁓ And I don't think that time heals all wounds. I think that the brain and the heart will heal together.
Jen Porter (22:28)
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Kristin Graham (22:52)
I know we got kind of, but it's that's the part of life. We're not a hashtag filtered life. We're all going to have these no matter what's in our space.
Jen Porter (23:00)
Yes.
So I'm guessing that the listeners are all this is resonating pretty deeply because we all experience it and often we experience it on our own and not ⁓ in a shared context. We carry, we care so much. ⁓ I want to point to the brain again, because this is your area of expertise and learning. What's happening?
Kristin Graham (23:07)
Hmm.
Yeah.
But we don't share it. Yeah.
Jen Porter (23:29)
in the brain, I'm particularly thinking about what we've talked about where the brain is telling us things and it's looking for evidence, you've said. The brain is a predictive machine and it's always looking for evidence. So what's happening in the brain when we're experiencing something like grief?
Kristin Graham (23:44)
Yes.
Yes, such a great question. I'm going to answer both of what you just said. It's a predictive machine because your brain can process 300 thoughts a second. I mean, it is the original machine learning. So it's constantly taking in everything, auditory, visual, sensory, and you're receiving, you're constantly being bombarded by this, and your brain is the filtration system for all this information coming at you.
which is why if you're in middle of an airport and you're getting kind of sensory overload, it's just because the brain's having a bit of system lag, right? But what's happening in that is in order to be a prediction machine, it has to start skipping steps. It has to. So it goes to previous files. Think of it that way. It's like, I can't process all of this, so I'm just gonna quickly root through these Manila folders from 1982.
And that leads us into what is called confirmation bias. it's so it wants to skip a step. And remember, your brain's job is to look out for danger and to keep you safe. And the best way to keep you safe is the do nothing response. So when we talk about kind of working through, that's what courage is. Courage is kind of going against that safety mechanism, ⁓ which has served us very, very well.
Jen Porter (25:10)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (25:14)
But it's always stopping us from, should I go talk to that person over there? They look cute. Should I apply for that job? What you start hearing then is safety messages, like that public service announcement. But it's your brain being like, you're fine, just where you are. ⁓ It's not that bad. ⁓ And that goes to a confirmation bias of, and I'll give you an example because also the brain is looking at
Jen Porter (25:27)
Yeah.
Hahahaha
Kristin Graham (25:43)
past tapes and cognitively, the brain is very bad at seeing good things. I'll say that again. The brain is very bad at seeing good things because its job is like danger, danger. So when we have that negative soundtrack in our mind and we all do. So if it's the, can't believe I said that, that's so stupid. Why did I say that in the meeting? The brain is actually also neutral. This is what's really important.
Jen Porter (25:54)
Hmm.
Kristin Graham (26:13)
When you give the brain data and you say, I'm so stupid, why did I say that? The brain is neutral, it has no emotions, right? That's all in your belly. So the brain's like, she's stupid, she shouldn't be saying things. So then it goes out to look for evidence that you are stupid that day. Or I can't believe they didn't say good morning to me, they must not like me. Now it's gonna look for why Linda from accounting doesn't like you. And so we are constantly feeding it fake news.
And it's like, okay, okay boss, I will go make sure that you are right. And so when we're constantly putting negative thoughts or false evidence into the brain, it's like, well, in here, let me show you, let me get out of this, because a lot of people are like, it can't be that easy. I'm gonna do a trick with you right now, okay? They're gonna watch this live. Okay, so I want you to ⁓ look around your room right now.
Jen Porter (27:04)
Okay.
Kristin Graham (27:10)
Just look around your room and I want you to find something red.
Jen Porter (27:15)
something red, okay?
Kristin Graham (27:17)
Okay, now close your eyes and tell me something white.
Jen Porter (27:22)
It's pretty hard.
Kristin Graham (27:25)
Yeah. And so, but now if you open up, do you see anything white?
Jen Porter (27:27)
paper.
I see, yes, this paper on my screen right here.
Kristin Graham (27:32)
Yeah.
But so what we do, that's a much easier visual exercise to say, we are constantly saying, and look in a fun way, let's say that you're looking for a new car and all of a sudden you want a red pickup. It's called reticular activation. Now, now you see red pickups everywhere. Right?
Jen Porter (27:48)
when you see it everywhere.
It's like the
brain is trying to work on our behalf.
Kristin Graham (27:57)
Exactly. So my lioness superpower friend, Jen, what if we fed it powerful stuff? Because whenever I do that, your brain soundtrack, it's like, yeah, yeah, I just have to say nice things to myself. Well, hang on. If your brain can find a red pickup, maybe it can find evidence that you're actually smart or that you're capable or that you're sexy.
Jen Porter (28:06)
Yes.
I see. It's not
just a hack, really. It's actually, you know what we talked about earlier, cooperating with our brain.
Kristin Graham (28:23)
It's an.
And you just proved it, right? I mean, we're, but that's what our brain does. It's neutral. So when I said, look for red, it was like, okay, I got an assignment, Jen, look for red. And then when I switched the assignment, the brain was like, that wasn't the thing. And so that's what I want everyone listening to understand is that neuroplasticity, your brain is the most fungible muscle in your body because it can overcome anything.
Jen Porter (28:34)
Yes.
Kristin Graham (28:55)
So within, that's how we learn languages, neuroplasticity. You have your one language and you learn it. It's how we learn all sorts of things. But you can actually activate your brain to find the positive. And this isn't just like a silly exercise. It really gets in there and it finds evidence. And the more evidence it has, the more it creates the serotonin, the more it.
reduces the cortisol, it just kind of comes back to all of it. It is a full body sport to believe in yourself.
Jen Porter (29:28)
love the way you say that. And it makes me think about identity because so much of the foundational work that I do with myself and with clients is understanding our identity, being very clear about who we are because when we have that identity clear, then everything else is built on top of that. ⁓ And so I can see that it's an intention of creating the identity that we actually want to embody. I'm also curious about
Kristin Graham (29:44)
Yeah.
Yes.
Jen Porter (29:56)
how the intentionality around all this, because I'm thinking about you said something around the brain is not good at finding good things.
Kristin Graham (30:07)
The brain
is bad at seeing good things.
Jen Porter (30:10)
The brain is bad at seeing good things. It's not designed for that. It's designed first and foremost to protect us. I'm thinking about when I was on a hike in California and when I'm hiking, I'm into it, but I'm not necessarily looking at the views because I'm into sort of the performance of it or like how quickly I'm going and ⁓ I'm enjoying it, but I'm not as intentional. But there was a moment where I came out of the trail
Kristin Graham (30:17)
Absolutely.
You
Jen Porter (30:39)
And I see the Pacific Ocean and I pause. I actually couldn't help myself, but it brought tears to my eyes because it was so beautiful. And I said to my, um, was dating my husband at the time. said, I start crying and he's wondering what's wrong with me. I thought it just feels like a long time since I've seen something beautiful, but I, I savored that moment and it's still with me. It's very, very present to me. I wonder how much intentionality is.
is part of this because when we tell our brain, I want to fixate on the beauty of this scene right now, the beauty of the mountains that I get to see. Is that part of it? Is the intentionality of what am I feeding my brain? What am I telling myself? How does that
Kristin Graham (31:29)
Absolutely.
And let me ask you question. When you came and saw that, did you gasp? you like, look at the ocean?
Jen Porter (31:37)
It was. It
took my breath away and the emotion emerged in a way that I couldn't control. I wanted to hold myself together. were just dating. We didn't have been together about a month. ⁓ For me, it was like, it's weird that I'm crying as we're hiking, but that was my response.
Kristin Graham (31:47)
Yeah, yes, yes, yes,
But
your brain ⁓ had a positive response and your body connected it to your senses. Taking that breath, remember we talked about earlier, the diaphragmatic breathing and it helped you savor that moment, which is why it's locked into your long-term memory. So there was breath and there was emotion. ⁓ One of the things I would tell anybody who's looking to have a little bit more awareness of the beauty, ⁓
Jen Porter (32:11)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (32:24)
And this is one of the brain hacks too. When you're in that moment or any moment, activate, try to think through the five senses. What am I hearing? What am I seeing? What am I smelling? And because that's how those ⁓ permanent pictures in the brain get stored is through our senses. Yeah, well, and here's another thing ⁓ on the day-to-day hacks of what we can do. ⁓ Jen, when you're walking around during your day, do you ever find yourself talking to yourself?
Jen Porter (32:33)
Okay.
the imprinting that you talked about.
in my head.
Kristin Graham (32:54)
That's interesting in your head, don't think you'd do anything out loud?
Jen Porter (32:59)
Occasionally.
Kristin Graham (33:01)
So let me ask you this, if you come, ⁓ trust, yes, she's right behind me. ⁓ But if you, let's say you get back in your car and you just had an unpleasant exchange in your driving home and you're thinking, I wish I hadn't said that, are you talking still in your head or do you ever talk out loud? Do you ever say to yourself, ⁓ okay. Yeah, so, I think, and that's not a right or wrong, a lot of people are 50-50.
Jen Porter (33:02)
I'll talk to my dog.
It's in my head. Pretty much.
Kristin Graham (33:29)
But here's one of the hacks too, because you were just talking about with the brain. ⁓ When you're wanting to override some of that, or you're wanting to be present in a moment, say it out loud. So I'll give you an example. Yesterday I was walking my dog. I was coming back. And I don't know what was in these bushes, but the smell of the flowers was just gorgeous. And I was like, that smells so wonderful.
Jen Porter (33:56)
Hmm.
Kristin Graham (33:57)
And have you ever been done with like something after 15 minutes and you've already forgotten the thread of all the things you saw? When you say something out loud, again, it's evidence for your brain, but it's a sensory evidence too. Gosh, those clouds look amazing or what, the smell of bacon in the morning, ⁓ whatever it is to you. But here's the science behind it. ⁓ We often are talking to ourselves in our head. That's our thought mechanism, it's our soundtrack.
But when you say it out loud, you're activating two parts of your brain, the thinking, the whole cognitive aspect, but then it's the auditory evidence. When you say it out loud, it takes the physical activity to speak, right? That has a whole different element than the think. And then you hear it. You are surround sound to yourself.
Jen Porter (34:46)
That is, yes, so I want to share my perspective on this because it's really important to me and I share this with a lot of people, this speaking out loud, there's a couple of things at play as I see it. Number one, the vocal cords create sound waves, vibrations that are eternal, they never actually end. So it's so important what we're speaking out into the world.
Kristin Graham (35:03)
vibrations.
Yes.
Jen Porter (35:14)
because it's going to last forever. So we have to be choosy ⁓ with our words. The other thing I'll say is, ⁓ I'll tell myself this, but I'll tell friends this and clients. If you really want to override something or replace, know, how do you get out of imposter syndrome? How do you, you know, shift your focus? Say it out loud because our soul, the way I had to say it is my soul needs to hear me say it.
Kristin Graham (35:18)
Yes!
Ooh, yes ma'am. Yes ma'am.
Jen Porter (35:43)
my soul needs to hear it because
the soul can't really discern thoughts in our brain. But to say it out loud, I'm speaking to my own soul so that it will hear it.
Kristin Graham (35:49)
No, I thought, mm-mm.
I like it. And neurologically, Jen, you are disrupting a negative pattern and you're putting a more powerful, like vibrational component into it. In fact, I did a recent podcast about the power of disruption. And one of the things, this is why people would often say, do a mantra, say something positive out loud for all of that. If that feels too much of a reach for you right now, and you're trying to insert just a little bit more of like feeling empowered,
⁓ the research says either start humming because it just, again, it's vibrating. ⁓ or find a bad-ass song, turn it on and sing aloud. This is where you're like carpool karaoke, your shower karaoke. If you're, if nothing else and you're like, I'm not gonna just find a song that always like rocks you a little bit. And just, those are the ones like if the windows are down and you don't really care who hears, if you sing, this is research backed.
Jen Porter (36:39)
⁓ yeah.
Kristin Graham (36:55)
even whatever it is, it will, so it replaces, it reduces the cortisol it brings on the dopamine, which is some of the fun. And what you're saying there is so true, it's activating a whole different sense and it's replacing those chemicals of kind of fear ⁓ and it gets something in there, but it's because it is vocalized. never.
underestimate the power of what you say, but especially because, and research has also shown that women tend to say negative thoughts out loud, to themselves, to themselves. And usually in the privacy of our whatever, but in you don't, I was having this conversation with one of my longest term girlfriends and she texted me like a week later and she's like, my gosh, I do that. I didn't realize I did, ⁓ because we don't. So.
Jen Porter (37:46)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (37:49)
Even if it's just an activity where you throw on a happy song at some point, you're probably overriding a lot of that internal noise. So just a tip.
Jen Porter (37:56)
The internal noise. Yeah.
And say it more about what happens when we speak it out loud because I just, you know, last week I was encouraging somebody who was going to do a brave thing and I said, say it out loud. And I'm like, seriously, don't just say it to yourself, say it out loud because your soul needs to hear it. But I don't really have a great explanation of why. So say again, like in a simple way, how
Kristin Graham (38:18)
Yes.
Jen Porter (38:26)
Why does that matter?
Kristin Graham (38:27)
It physically activates two different parts of our body and our brain. The first is ⁓ the taking it from intention, taking it from a thought to an action, which is the spoken word, because it's the same as thinking, ⁓ I'm looking over there versus I now walked over there. It takes a lot more concerted effort.
between your brain and your body to do it. So that becomes evidence. When it is spoken, it becomes evidence versus a thought. And we all talked about confirmation bias. And the second thing is the auditory connection. So once it is said, to your point about the soul, but then our ears receive it as though it was said from someone else. So think of that as the surround sound, the action required to put that into practice.
Jen Porter (38:51)
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Kristin Graham (39:18)
And then the receiving, receiving is a big word for me, right? But then your ears receive it regardless of who it was, meaning you, and that also becomes evidence. So it is a two part for them. Your coaching was spot on biologic.
Jen Porter (39:25)
Hmm.
Totally. Wow.
So let's talk about your bravery and how you became a lioness. When do you first remember needing to be brave in your life?
Kristin Graham (39:39)
Mm.
I honestly don't know if I have a memory of when I didn't. And that comes from myriad examples, but it also goes back to something that you said earlier about ⁓ identity. And one of the opportunities for us now, the uss who are listening, is that discovering the identity
for ourselves instead of what we were rewarded for being. And when you talked about finding your joy and your purpose, you were going to have to excavate a lot of what you were rewarded for because psychologically, but also neurologically, we put all of our faith into what we were first told that we were. And I'll give you an example. ⁓ I have two brothers, two older brothers, and... ⁓
It was, well, Kurt's the smart one, Kristin's the cute one. And I know families do that for a lot of reasons. It's, accept adjectives and make them attributes. And that is something that as adults and adults in the making, we need to take big erasers too. Because we thought that that was evidence. But going back to answer your question, I say that because I realized it now in hindsight.
but I was ⁓ youngest only girl in a military Catholic family. So I came into this world being like, I'm sorry, what? Why can't I do that? And I remember ⁓ early on going to church, because we went to church every single ⁓ Sunday, 8 a.m. And I have nothing against religion. This is an evidence theory. But I would watch my whole family.
would have a role. My mom was a reader, my dad was a Eucharistic minister, my brothers were altar boys. These days the church allows altar girls too, but not then. So we get to church early and I'm sitting on the pew and I'm watching my whole family participate. And I'm like, why am I not, A, I don't want to be here, I'm tired. B, ⁓ nobody else is in church yet, we were there early. And why am I the only one not allowed? And
It's not often what is said to us that sticks, it's what is excluded. And we've all experienced that feeling of other, which is why I think working on empathy in today's world is so important to draw upon, of just feeling left out or put aside or ⁓ irregarded. And so being of value was ⁓ very early a confusing thing for me.
and then I had my oldest brother. So we were in the military. My oldest brother is intellectually disabled. So he would have been in the special ed classes back in the times that people, and so growing up in a world where, and then my, my additional, my second brother is, ⁓ highly smart, great, but it took me a long time to understand that I was smart too, that there could be an ampersand.
We do this a lot in families, right? It's like, we only got one little box of a characteristic. ⁓ But I, back to being a lioness, an advocate, right, for my brother. And I was often, as latchkey kids, left to kinda, we took care of each other, sort of, but also.
I saw very early on that the world is different when you see it through somebody else's. Anybody who's been a caregiver for any circumstance where you're looking out on the wellbeing and welfare of somebody else. And then I've never known a world where that wasn't true, where I haven't been able to read a room or find a protective instinct within me. So I would say I've been mothering long before I was a mother and for very good and solid reasons. ⁓
but it becomes ingrained and you just think that that's part of your role and your skills. So.
Jen Porter (44:06)
How did that shape you?
Kristin Graham (44:08)
I think advocacy has long been literally part of my DNA. I'm somebody who I'm always rooting for the underdog from a silly standpoint. But also, ⁓ even in situations, I'm kind of the first to diffuse or deflect. I have become ⁓ really adept at ⁓
interjecting and this work great and corporate, let me tell you, of being like, hey, so here's and really being able to take a situation and subtly there's a great book called Super Forecasters and Super Communicators and they talk about ⁓ the individuals like in a jury room. They're not always the leader, but they're the ones that are like, hey, Jen, tell me again why you feel strongly about, there are people who can
seek to understand in a way that allows people to step back. And I think I have been equal parts that elements of almost the connector doesn't always have to be the leader. Sometimes it's not, but then also the fierce lion. is ⁓ my partner always jokes like,
You want me by your side during the day, but in the alley at night, because it is without instinct. I will, and I've done it, you know, I'm five foot five and I'll be like David and Goliath. have, it is such an immediate instinct, whether I have, like run out in fields and I just like the lion just, it just goes and starts to attack before, because it's physical before it's, I will, I will throw down.
That is not necessarily said with pride, but if anyone comes to a place or if I see a situation, ⁓ I'm the first one to kind of stand up and say something. And I'll try to always use humor, but then there are situations, especially if it involves somebody who I see as disadvantaged, a child or something else, it is ⁓ pure hot flames. It's not pretty, but effective.
Jen Porter (45:53)
you
Hmm.
And that came from protecting,
it came from protecting your brother.
Kristin Graham (46:22)
think it came from my feeling of protecting all of those needing protection. Like I took it as, right, as a larger task of writing almost that superhero concept of you can't solve everything, but ⁓ the thing, like I was the kid who would rescue the birds that the cats brought in or try to, you know, it just becomes that thing of, but did we try, but did we try? Now that of course leads to, ⁓
intensive co-dependence and back to your point about what is my desire and really separating that out. And I've done a lot of work in that, but I still have, I'm still very pleased at that element of both fierce and also balanced to be in a, and I've been in so many different corporator things, or, even just to be silly, I'll be in a restaurant and I'll be like, so, um,
if you did have a free dessert, which one would you want to bring to this table? It's I kind of, and it's so fun. they always talk about like the Kristin magic and ⁓ I'm always trying to get a discount and not in a, like just in a gravitas way. So it's ⁓ of really using people to open up at, or customer service. You the other day my partner was like,
Jen Porter (47:24)
You
You
Kristin Graham (47:42)
I called this hotel, we're booking for his mom for her special birthday. And he's like, can you just call and do the Christian magic? And I'm like, I'm on it. Right. And, you know, got the like corner room, because it's I use it, advocacy can also be very positive. I was like, what room would you put your mama in? And tell me about that. And what should I what questions am I not asking right now? And I just use my people curiosity as a tool without being a shovel.
Jen Porter (47:58)
Yeah.
you open things up.
Kristin Graham (48:13)
I try and see that's what so many people don't try. I've taught a lot on negotiation. I've taught a lot on personal brand and my bumper sticker for that is it's always worth the question. ⁓ There's such a fear of I'll feel guilty or like I don't want to trouble anybody or I don't want them to think I'm bougie and I love the art of curiosity because it allows us to receive.
Jen Porter (48:25)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (48:40)
which goes back to that when you are a caretaker for everyone else, you know, get the piece of bread and you give it to everybody else. So I have spent decades learning how to receive and part of my business, and I think yours too, Jen, is allowing people to feel comfortable enjoying what they've earned. And that's a beautiful gift when that starts to click.
Jen Porter (48:48)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
I wanna know everything, but I'm gonna focus on the transition that you made. When you left corporate and started your own thing, will you tell us that story?
Kristin Graham (49:14)
Mm.
Sure. ⁓ Well, it was interesting. Back to desire, I love your word in that I've long known that I wanted to try something different. But here's an interesting thing. ⁓ A lot of us get really good at living up to the job descriptions that other people give us. And that allows us professionally in whatever, and that could be in service and students and whatever. ⁓
we fall into what is the zone of excellence. Like you become really proficient at something, ⁓ whether you find joy in it or not. Like I was always that person who could fix the copy machine. You know how like you have those quirky like, I don't know why, but I could always just figure out the copy machines. ⁓ obviously more than that, but you become just good at things by default. And then you have, I found this quote one time that says,
That thing that you think about in the early mornings and at night, the thing that you daydream about, the thing that you would do for free, that's the thing that you must, must do. And I knew that people were going, but I always found people as an outlet in whatever job I had at the time. And so I also grew up in a household that went through a bankruptcy. So for me, ⁓ financial stability, I thought came from a paycheck. And it took me a long time for Gen X to separate from that.
Even when I was working in dot coms and I became a dot com millionaire, all of my stock that I would cash out would just go straight into the bank. I wasn't that spin thrifty. ⁓ And so once I got past the kind of financial elements and then also the fact that I knew I could continue to be in jobs where I was excellent ⁓ once a year.
and your performance review. And so my zone of genius, which comes from a book called The Big Leap, was really around doing the work. so during COVID, and the world was upside down, I was like, I'm going to give this a try, because I will never regret trying. But I know in five years, if I'm still working at this company, which was the biggest in the world, I'm going to regret not having tried. And I can always go back and get a day job.
Jen Porter (51:45)
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (51:45)
And I don't say that lightly because I have a lot of people who are struggling to do just that. But it was ⁓ the fear of what I call the velvet rut. And we've all done this, whether it's relationships, whether it's jobs, sometimes it's an address or a zip code. And we're like, we've got the Costco size velvet, but we're not moving. We're in a rut and you know it. You know it.
Jen Porter (52:11)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (52:13)
A lot of times it's relationships and you're like, well, I don't want to be single. And it doesn't have to be romantic relationships. Friendships that have long outlived their expiration dates. Sometimes it's relatives. Blood does not give them a contract to stay in your life. Sorry, that needs to be renewed in a regular basis. There are service level agreements that come with being in my life. But to your question, I was also a recently divorced single mother of two teenagers. And I was like,
Jen Porter (52:24)
Yeah.
Hmm.
Mass. Mass.
Kristin Graham (52:43)
⁓
something's gotta be better than just this world that was in the middle of such chaos. And it's really about borrowing other people's belief. Here's something that I talked to several entrepreneurs as I was getting ready to go out. And this one guy said, go all in on yourself. Just go all in. Go all in and assume that you have a salary and believe in yourself the way that you believe in everybody else in your life. And that's...
Jen Porter (52:52)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (53:13)
was powerful. And one of the things when I am talking from stages or one on one, it's to say, you're not going to success only comes with evidence, you only feel successful once there's evidence in order to start anything, you have to go out there with no proof. And again, our brain is like, Excuse me, I did not get that manual. And it is it ever remember that same person said, so borrow somebody else's belief in you.
Jen Porter (53:26)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (53:42)
until you get your own. And that's one of the things I really see in your work, Jen, is that you extend this huge line of positive credit for others to use, interest-free. And we need that. And sometimes you're gonna borrow belief from people who don't even know you. It's okay to have people that you look ahead to and say, rock on. And it's supposed to be scary. It's the right kind of hard.
Jen Porter (53:44)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (54:11)
It's supposed to.
Jen Porter (54:12)
Yes, I say that I just wrote about this last month about how I give clients my belief. When they can't believe in themselves, they can borrow mine.
Kristin Graham (54:21)
Yeah.
It's powerful.
Jen Porter (54:27)
It is, it is, and I can help them find the evidence, right? And we need other people to do that, is to help us find it.
Kristin Graham (54:32)
sure.
Of course, ⁓ we can't read the label from inside the bottle. And so having other people who give you their belief, but also just hold up the mirror for it. Even when I was starting and I was like, my gosh, what am I gonna, what are the words and what am I selling? ⁓ It was go out and ask other people what they come to you for and use their words. Because our words are always, and I do Words for a Living, they're always gonna fall short.
Jen Porter (54:41)
Hmm.
Yes.
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (55:07)
even the most confident people are gonna pull back on some of the attributes of it. And listen to how you talk about yourself. Here's two litmus tests. One, how easy is it for you to receive a compliment? Can you just, and I mean just receive it and say thank you. I bet it's physically uncomfortable for a lot of folks. Or they do the justification.
Jen Porter (55:28)
Mm-hmm.
Kristin Graham (55:36)
⁓ thank you. Gosh, so many people helped out with this that it really, gosh, it wasn't a big deal. And I just heard this term yesterday. Somebody said, that is when we are leaking insecurities. And we're just like, ⁓ no, it wasn't that big. no, no, no, And women do that a lot. first, how comfortable it, yes. But can you just take the compliment? Can you receive it? Even if in your mind you're like, so that's an important one.
Jen Porter (55:48)
Yeah.
It's very disempowering.
Mm-hmm.
Interesting.
I so I can receive compliments, ⁓ but I can receive them in the places of that I am truly confident in who I am. And so when people say like clients will say, you know, give me compliments, like, you know, I could have done this without you. You know, you're a genius at this. Like, I, when they say things that I know that I feel really confident in, I just receive it silently.
Kristin Graham (56:14)
Interesting.
Jen Porter (56:34)
And we move on. But if it's an area that I feel insecure about internally, I'm sort of arguing with it. I'm resisting it. Because and then I'm telling myself, well, there's all these other things that I haven't done or I haven't figured that out yet or I really struggle in these areas.
Kristin Graham (56:49)
You know what would be interesting, and I'm making this up on the spot, but if somebody gave you a compliment and then later you repeated that compliment out loud so that you could hear it, so that your soul can hear it, that would be, because I'm with you, I've done a lot of work to say, to sit and savor and to say thank you because acknowledging the recipient, it's a two-way gift.
Jen Porter (56:59)
Mmm.
Yes.
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (57:14)
Yeah, it's a real thing of beauty and giving compliments. my gosh, you want to try some social experiments, give some genuine compliments to people in your life. We are starving as a society for positivity, and especially give it to folks who are younger than you. It ⁓ is such a challenge. so receiving it, and then if you are struggling to accept it, maybe repeating that.
Jen Porter (57:16)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
and to be seen.
Kristin Graham (57:42)
back out or even writing it down. I'm a huge Post-it Note fan, but writing it down and having it be something that you see because your brain will register words as evidence. So when you are trying to come up with or get more comfortable with something or your goals, etc., or even a compliment, write that down and put that up somewhere because it matters when we see it when we hear it.
Jen Porter (58:03)
Yeah.
I love that experiment with ourselves, but also with other people of taking what we hear. And it's, it's almost being curious about it. Like this person gave me this compliment today. I never would have described myself that way. I'm going to get curious about that. I'm going to say that. How does it feel to try it on, you know, and just to call out what we see in other people, because people light up when, you know, if I give a compliment to a stranger, their face just like,
Kristin Graham (58:16)
Absolutely.
it's my favorite thing. It's my favorite
thing.
Jen Porter (58:37)
And
I can say like, just to be seen, I just, I don't know if it's the places that I've moved to over the years or, how our culture has changed. But I grew up in a place where you saw the person in your presence. Like if you pass somebody in the hallway or on the street, you acknowledge that person and that does not happen. And I think it's even worse now after COVID because of the face masks deal. And so just to be seen as another human in someone's presence.
really matters.
Kristin Graham (59:07)
does. And it is often easier to give compliments to people we don't know, and to receive them from people we don't know, because there's no emotional social contract with that person. you're just saying that or it is a wonderful practice to get to neuroplasticity to ⁓ practice it on strangers. And another self experiment I've done with a lot of people as they're working on their own transformation is to say, ⁓ get a pack of
Jen Porter (59:18)
Interesting. Yeah.
Kristin Graham (59:36)
Post-it notes, whatever. And over the weekend, I give them a time box to say, want you to write down attributes of yourself, positive attributes, especially if they're looking to do something. And then ask other people what their words are for you and see if any of them match. It's like refrigerator poetry for your brain.
Jen Porter (59:53)
I love that you're, you are such a word nerd.
Kristin Graham (59:55)
⁓ I love it. I love it. Well, we're
all listen to somebody and I'm sure you do this too. And they're talking about their ⁓ goals. And I was like, so what I heard you say is and they're like, is that I'm like, that's what I heard. I mean, that is what you're capable of. And it's, ⁓ I think words are one of the best gifts that we can give to one another, because they're one of the hardest to give to ourselves.
Jen Porter (1:00:07)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I'm very literal when it comes to words. I think about their meaning and their origin. And so I'm very conscious of the words that I use. And if someone says something, ⁓ they may say, ⁓ like in passing, like I'm lazy. ⁓ I didn't do that because I'm lazy. And it's like, whoa.
⁓ here's all the evidence as to why you are not lazy. What was that about? And so we say these things without even thinking. And it's like, why would we say that to ourselves?
Kristin Graham (1:00:44)
I know. I know.
we wouldn't allow anybody to say it to them, right? And yet we treat ourselves worse. It is, and it's kind of a joke in my family and friend group. If we're out somewhere and somebody says a negative thing, they're like, here she goes. Because I'm like, can I just point out that you have said that you were silly three times in this conversation? And they're like, no, I didn't, weirdo. And I was like, actually. ⁓ But so part of my research into this space,
was my oldest son is on the autism spectrum. He's about to turn 22 and ⁓ he's very literal. And so when he was growing up, we would talk about idioms and sarcasm. And so I take a lot of extra space with the intentionality of words and he's very adaptive and now he's hilarious and he'll throw us off all the time by saying something totally out of the box. ⁓ But it really is a lot more pervasive.
Jen Porter (1:01:44)
Hmm.
Kristin Graham (1:01:55)
especially how we are saying it to ourselves. And we have completely accepted it. And it's very, very subconscious. So I think that work, that overriding work, you know how if you're on a word processing, you can do find and replace? That's what we got to do with our brains and our words. We're all due for an upgrade.
Jen Porter (1:02:08)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And don't you think we need each other for that?
Kristin Graham (1:02:17)
We do, and we need the right people in our microphone though, because it's the believability of it has its own attachments.
Jen Porter (1:02:22)
Yeah. True.
What's your big vision for where you want to take your work and the impact that you would love to have?
Kristin Graham (1:02:39)
such a great question. To me, it's already legacy work. been four years now since I launched this space. And I have this ⁓ picture of ⁓ two little dandelions that are like in flight, like being blown by the wind. And so my vision is that some of my best work and biggest impact will probably forever be anonymous to me, ⁓ which is a practice in a larger faith that it's not just for
certain milestones and accolades. It really is to light some little light bulbs over people's heads so that in time they come to think that was their own thought. And I do that a lot through words, but also through unlocking previous elements and allowing permission to be the new cognitive currency of just
Jen Porter (1:03:38)
Wow.
Kristin Graham (1:03:38)
I'm willing to believe that things are possible, that things are positive. So I love words and I live in the words, but my true hope is that words that I share, they're not mine, words that are shared, become ideas that later unlock new thoughts and new possibilities, and that it's never necessarily directed back towards me. It becomes an inner
toolkit that just got started by one little light bulb at a time.
Jen Porter (1:04:13)
Wow, that's beautiful.
Kristin Graham (1:04:16)
It's so fun because I chased forever ⁓ titles and paychecks and every brass ring and the Gen X playbook. And there's this great quote by Coco Chanel that says, everything and not enough. And it's to be surrounded by in this gilded cage, which was kind of her point. And it's only in seeing that that you realize how empty the castle is. So for me, it's more like.
Jen Porter (1:04:34)
Yeah.
Kristin Graham (1:04:42)
going out and blowing a whole bunch of dandelions around. And I know they're actually weeds, but they're fabulous. ⁓ And they work. And so that ⁓ being empowered, especially in times where so much feels out of our control, to just savor a little bit more of what's possible, that is true good work.
Jen Porter (1:04:46)
Hahahaha
Hmm. Beautiful. So, people can find you in a number of ways. So Unlockthebrain.com is your website. You've got a podcast, "Fewer Things Better".
Kristin Graham (1:05:13)
Yes. Unlock the ring. Yes.
Yes, ma'am. I'm about to put that onto YouTube so they'll be able to find me on YouTube right quick. And ⁓ I have a newsletter for pop-ups. I do pop-up classes all for free. I love, I call it for fun and for free. I like to experiment in the world. And... ⁓
Jen Porter (1:05:24)
Awesome.
And so
who should reach out to you? they're thinking, know, Kristin's amazing. Who should, you know, who would benefit from working with you? How should they be thinking about that?
Kristin Graham (1:05:47)
my gosh. think anybody who would like the company of words, certainly at any point, there's a lot of async ways that you can do that through the podcast or LinkedIn, ⁓ through my website, but also there's a lot of opportunities on my website for when we have pop-up conversations or small groups, or even I'm doing an asynchronous, you can do ⁓ unlock on demand and you can just have videos and audio for when you need that infusion and time management, energy management.
Jen Porter (1:06:12)
Okay.
Kristin Graham (1:06:16)
So I've made it so there's lots of ways that you can self-serve. And then if you want to get the full on crazy in-person experience, I'm there for that too.
Jen Porter (1:06:24)
Amazing, amazing. So check Kristin Graham out. Thank you so much for being here. I mean, there's so much that I've learned from our conversation and you've unlocked some things for me in how I see, ⁓ you know, even just the work that I do or the journey that I'm on myself. So thank you for that. And I know the listeners gained a ton from this. So. ⁓
Kristin Graham (1:06:46)
But you are a dandelion in the wild, my friend. You are somebody
who is changing daily other people.
Jen Porter (1:06:53)
Thank you. received that. Okay. So in the meantime, the lioness in me sees the lioness in you.
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